I'm 46. I'm Bronze 2 — there is exactly one rank below me. Every stream is one more step from the bottom to Unreal, and every dollar you give goes straight to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital through Tiltify — I never touch it. The name isn't a character I made up. It was my dad's pizzeria — and I've run a pizza shop of my own since 2024.

Original Pizza Man · 4129 Portage Rd., Kalamazoo · John's place, 1983